Wow, so I have been planning for over 2 months now to sit down and try to write something on here about starting college, but now it's half way through my first semester and I'm finally doing it!
Where to begin... I don't really know. As far as the classes go, everything is going great. I have an A- in my spanish class and also in my freshman tutorial class (basically an english class), I have a B in my calc class (I know Dad, I need to work on that one haha) , and I have an A in my Chemistry class. All in all, I'm very please with how the semester is going. Now what about the rest of college... Haha it stinks!
I told mom, "I hate being an adult." College has made me grow up way faster than I really wanted to. I know that it is what its best for me, but that doesn't mean that it is always fun. A lot of times, I look around me and I really feel like a man among boys... everyone seems to just be here to have fun. Yes, I know that it is important to have fun sometimes, but that's not why I'm really here. People keep telling me that I need to relax and just have fun because that's what college is all about. What!?! Is that really why I am here!?! Is that really why I'm paying thousands of dollars to go to school?! To have a good time. Not at all. These past few months, have completely changed my thoughts about how I live my life. Every choice that I make can effect my future in ways that I might not even realize. Do I really have the time to play video games till all hours of the night, or go get smashed on the weekends? I don't think so! And yet it is very hard to keep that mindset. It is hard to be in a place where you truly are on your own. No one has the same morals... no one has the same beliefs. You realize that you really are on your own, and that stinks. I know that my family is still there for me, but it is not the same. I am my own man now... and sometimes it gets very lonely. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy college. It's just not always easy... but I know it's good for me..
And now an update on something that has been one of the biggest aspects of my life for many years. Running. I'm not really sure what has changed as far as running is concerned. Something has most definitely changed, but I'm just not sure what it is. I think the only way to describe it is that my priorities have changed. For years I chased a dream of running professionally, but now I reached the college running level and I don't like it at all. I am ready for the season to be done. It's not that I have lost my competitive edge and it's not that I hate running... I know that I will be running for the rest of my life, there is no doubt in my mind about that, but i think that i need to take some time and take a break from running in college. I just am not there mentally. This season has worn me out mentally and emotionally and I'm just not there right now. I am not planning on running track in the spring. As of right now, I am planning on taking that season and just trying to figure some stuff out, I just need some time to think about running. I am going to keep running, and am planning on training to run a marathon in early summer.
These are just a few of my thoughts right now about the beginning of my college year. So much has happened in these last few months, and God has been actively working in my life and helping me grow. It has been hard, but it has been good! I'm not sure who will read this, but I miss you all and I hope to see you soon. God bless.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Warning: Do Not Read This If You Are Content With Your Life Right Now!
I guess i don’t usually write a note unless something is truly heavy on my heart. So I guess I will apologize because if you were wanting to read something entertaining or something that is light and fluffy that is not what this is. I pray that this will help all of us, myself included think deeper about our passion! Once again, I apologize if I ramble too much! :)
—There is no life, no life without its hunger.
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly.
“You Raise Me Up” Josh Groban
I was recently playing this song on the piano. Suddenly those words written above struck me as incredibly true! Life is nothing without a hunger. Life is nothing without a passion. A true passion!
What comes to mind, when you think of the word Passion? Many people will think of love, is that what you think of? Maybe you think of a dreamer. Dreamers are passionate individuals, and they rarely attain their dreams unless they stay passionate. My question to you is not what are you passionate about, because I believe that each of us is passionate about something, whether it be good or bad. There are those of you who are passionate about sports. Some of you are passionate about partying. While even others are passionate about their schooling. Too many of us are not passionate about the things that truly matter– the things that bring a richness, a depth, and a true excitement to life. My next question is what do you do about that passion?
Are you just passionate, or do you really live out that passion? The Bible says in James 2:14, “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him?” And then the Bible says in James 2:17, “So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” I believe that the same can be said of passion. What good is it my brothers, if someone says he has passion but does not take actions to fulfill that passion? Or, so also passion by itself, if it does not have works, is dead! It is worthless if all we do is say that we are passionate about something, but don’t actually do anything about it. This is where I make myself so frustrated!
I claim to be passionate about so many thing! I claim to be passionate about running, and yet so many times I am lazy and don’t take the time to run and lift weights to get better. How can I truly claim to love running if I don’t have the actions to show that I love it. I seem to be a hard worker in my school, but so many times I don’t do my homework, or I just copy it from someone else when I get to school. Most importantly I claim to be passionate about God, and yet I rarely put any effort into trying to grow closer and more in my walk with God! How idiotic is that? Am I so stupid as to assume that one day it is just going to click and I am going to be a great runner. The day that I walk onto my college campus I’m going to be this hard working, straight A student. When I get married and become the physical and spiritual leader of my family, am I going to suddenly be this man who understands the Scriptures, and knows what he believes? I DON’T THINK SO!!!!
I have no right to presume that I am going to be able to accomplish anything that I am passionate about without hard work! Yet this is how I live my life most of the time! I would be so bold as to say that that is how many of us live our lives. We are perfectly willing to talk the talk, but don’t anyone ask us to walk the walk. We are a generation that is perfectly willing to be second best. We need to step up and become a generation that takes responsibility for their actions and doesn’t just sit on the fence, but takes the actions to fulfill their dreams!!
I know that many of you will roll your eyes and think that I’m just a sentimental, weird person when you read this. I pray that just one person will read this and be uplifted and be driven to pursue their passion. Remember the verse in I Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”
God Bless,
Anton
—There is no life, no life without its hunger.
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly.
“You Raise Me Up” Josh Groban
I was recently playing this song on the piano. Suddenly those words written above struck me as incredibly true! Life is nothing without a hunger. Life is nothing without a passion. A true passion!
What comes to mind, when you think of the word Passion? Many people will think of love, is that what you think of? Maybe you think of a dreamer. Dreamers are passionate individuals, and they rarely attain their dreams unless they stay passionate. My question to you is not what are you passionate about, because I believe that each of us is passionate about something, whether it be good or bad. There are those of you who are passionate about sports. Some of you are passionate about partying. While even others are passionate about their schooling. Too many of us are not passionate about the things that truly matter– the things that bring a richness, a depth, and a true excitement to life. My next question is what do you do about that passion?
Are you just passionate, or do you really live out that passion? The Bible says in James 2:14, “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him?” And then the Bible says in James 2:17, “So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” I believe that the same can be said of passion. What good is it my brothers, if someone says he has passion but does not take actions to fulfill that passion? Or, so also passion by itself, if it does not have works, is dead! It is worthless if all we do is say that we are passionate about something, but don’t actually do anything about it. This is where I make myself so frustrated!
I claim to be passionate about so many thing! I claim to be passionate about running, and yet so many times I am lazy and don’t take the time to run and lift weights to get better. How can I truly claim to love running if I don’t have the actions to show that I love it. I seem to be a hard worker in my school, but so many times I don’t do my homework, or I just copy it from someone else when I get to school. Most importantly I claim to be passionate about God, and yet I rarely put any effort into trying to grow closer and more in my walk with God! How idiotic is that? Am I so stupid as to assume that one day it is just going to click and I am going to be a great runner. The day that I walk onto my college campus I’m going to be this hard working, straight A student. When I get married and become the physical and spiritual leader of my family, am I going to suddenly be this man who understands the Scriptures, and knows what he believes? I DON’T THINK SO!!!!
I have no right to presume that I am going to be able to accomplish anything that I am passionate about without hard work! Yet this is how I live my life most of the time! I would be so bold as to say that that is how many of us live our lives. We are perfectly willing to talk the talk, but don’t anyone ask us to walk the walk. We are a generation that is perfectly willing to be second best. We need to step up and become a generation that takes responsibility for their actions and doesn’t just sit on the fence, but takes the actions to fulfill their dreams!!
I know that many of you will roll your eyes and think that I’m just a sentimental, weird person when you read this. I pray that just one person will read this and be uplifted and be driven to pursue their passion. Remember the verse in I Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”
God Bless,
Anton
Monday, May 5, 2008
wow, so now that it's been about half a year since I last posted anything I don't really know what to write. Life is crazy. Right now I'm laying on my floor on my stomach because my back went out today. I was stretching before a track workout and BAM! Oh well, I guess this is all a journey. God knows what he's doing.
Track has been pretty intense so far. I have been running the 3200 meters which is approximately equal to two miles. My best time is 10:21. That's decent but not great. I've got a lot of improvement to go. I've got Conference on Thursday so we'll see how everything pans out. I'm sure there is way more that I could say but I can't really think right now.
At least you guys know I'm still alive though right Lisa and Aunt Cathy
Track has been pretty intense so far. I have been running the 3200 meters which is approximately equal to two miles. My best time is 10:21. That's decent but not great. I've got a lot of improvement to go. I've got Conference on Thursday so we'll see how everything pans out. I'm sure there is way more that I could say but I can't really think right now.
At least you guys know I'm still alive though right Lisa and Aunt Cathy
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Before You Can Blink
Wow!! Time really does fly by doesn't it? It seems like just yesterday I was writing about state, but that was over a month ago. State was fun. We all had a good time hanging out in the hotel. The race was wet, muddy and cold. It rained, ironically, from when we got off the bus until we got back on to leave.
I have been thinking recently about just how quick life passes us by. The Bible tells us that our lives are a mist, that is on this earth for just a little while. Then we are gone. Yet, we still live the way we do. We still live not thinking about our actions. We live for the moment not for the future. We don't think about what we say until after we say it. I am so stupid. If I have a dream that I want to fulfill, then why do I not live in a way that will fulfill that dream. How can I expect to do well when I run a race, if I don't run well in practices. How can I expect to do well in classes if I only do the minimum and don't work to the glory of God. Why do I do that? Why do I live for the moment, and then expect great things in the future? I feel like I could go on forever, but I really should go to bed. Keep thinking about what I am saying. I'll come back to it soon.
I have been thinking recently about just how quick life passes us by. The Bible tells us that our lives are a mist, that is on this earth for just a little while. Then we are gone. Yet, we still live the way we do. We still live not thinking about our actions. We live for the moment not for the future. We don't think about what we say until after we say it. I am so stupid. If I have a dream that I want to fulfill, then why do I not live in a way that will fulfill that dream. How can I expect to do well when I run a race, if I don't run well in practices. How can I expect to do well in classes if I only do the minimum and don't work to the glory of God. Why do I do that? Why do I live for the moment, and then expect great things in the future? I feel like I could go on forever, but I really should go to bed. Keep thinking about what I am saying. I'll come back to it soon.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Determination.
Omwojo. It is an African word that means team. A great African tribe, of whose name I can't remember how to spell, or say for that matter, used to say this word to each other as they prepared for battle. It reminded them that alone they were weak, but as a team they were one of the greatest tribes in all of Africa.
That is what I must remember. Omwojo. Omwojo. It is a bittersweet feeling to feel like you have been a part of something; and yet at the same time feel like you have not been a part of something. That is how I feel. I feel like I have helped the team get this far, and yet I am seventh man and so I do not feel like I have helped any scoreing. I must remember that it isn't all about me anymore. I am a member of a team now. I have others who depend on me, and I depend on them. Why then am I upset today after coach told me that Trevor is going to take my place on the varsity team for the state meet? It is the best thing for the team. He ran faster than I did at semi-state, so he should take my place.
I say that there is no hard feelings. I say that I understand. The fact of the matter though, is that I feel that I am a better runner than Trevor. The fact of the matter is that on Saturday, I want to make coach wish that she had run me in the race. I want to run a time trial, and prove to myself that I am the kind of runner that I know that I am. And yet Trevor earned it. I feel like I have been a lot of talk. I have told myself that I am some good runner and yet I never perform like my mouth does. Trevor performed where I didn't. He earned my spot fair and square.
A man that I greatly respect once said that there is no use saying something that you don't intend on trying to fulfill. This is what I seem to do in both my spiritual life and my physical life. I pray and ask God to help me do something, but then I don't try to put forth the effort to do my part to try and live the right way. The same is true of my physical life. Especially running. I have always said that I would like to be a great runner someday, but I never seem to give it everything that I have to get better to try and fulfill my dreams. When someone told me recently that this was my last chance to go to state, I answered that I was going to return next year. They just laughed. I am so much more determined to prove them wrong.
As with the Trevor thing. God please help my selfish attitude. Help my pride. Help me to be determined, but also give you the glory in all that I do. I am, in a way, thankful that Trev beat my time because maybe that is what it takes for me to finally break through. I am going to go to state and be there to support my team. Support Trevor. Omwojo!
That is what I must remember. Omwojo. Omwojo. It is a bittersweet feeling to feel like you have been a part of something; and yet at the same time feel like you have not been a part of something. That is how I feel. I feel like I have helped the team get this far, and yet I am seventh man and so I do not feel like I have helped any scoreing. I must remember that it isn't all about me anymore. I am a member of a team now. I have others who depend on me, and I depend on them. Why then am I upset today after coach told me that Trevor is going to take my place on the varsity team for the state meet? It is the best thing for the team. He ran faster than I did at semi-state, so he should take my place.
I say that there is no hard feelings. I say that I understand. The fact of the matter though, is that I feel that I am a better runner than Trevor. The fact of the matter is that on Saturday, I want to make coach wish that she had run me in the race. I want to run a time trial, and prove to myself that I am the kind of runner that I know that I am. And yet Trevor earned it. I feel like I have been a lot of talk. I have told myself that I am some good runner and yet I never perform like my mouth does. Trevor performed where I didn't. He earned my spot fair and square.
A man that I greatly respect once said that there is no use saying something that you don't intend on trying to fulfill. This is what I seem to do in both my spiritual life and my physical life. I pray and ask God to help me do something, but then I don't try to put forth the effort to do my part to try and live the right way. The same is true of my physical life. Especially running. I have always said that I would like to be a great runner someday, but I never seem to give it everything that I have to get better to try and fulfill my dreams. When someone told me recently that this was my last chance to go to state, I answered that I was going to return next year. They just laughed. I am so much more determined to prove them wrong.
As with the Trevor thing. God please help my selfish attitude. Help my pride. Help me to be determined, but also give you the glory in all that I do. I am, in a way, thankful that Trev beat my time because maybe that is what it takes for me to finally break through. I am going to go to state and be there to support my team. Support Trevor. Omwojo!
!!!!Semi-State!!!!
Semi-state on 10/20/2007. We went into this race as the underdog. People were saying that it was going to be a close race for the sixth place spot that was the last spot to go on to state. The sixth spot was predicted to go to one of the following: Delta, Mishawaka, South Bend Saint Joseph, or Penn. We were not expected to make it out.
We awaited the announcement for the teams that would go on to state. As we listened, we heard Delta announced at 15th place, Mishawaka announced at 11th place, and St. Joe announced at 8th place. The tension grew. Would we hear the word "Penn" for 7th place? Would we make it out. The announcer said, "In seventh place, with a score of 224 points----- Norwell High School." We screamed and cheered. Sorry Norwell. We weren't celebrating your loss, but the fact that we had made it out. They announced sixth. It wasn't Penn. They announced fifth; it wasn't Penn. They announced fourth, and there we were! We were ecstatic! Fourth place! We had done better than anyone predicted. I was in tears. I was literally bawling. I don't know why. I think it was the first time that I have ever cried because I was happy. We made it out. Why? Because we wanted it the most. We believed that we could achive our goal that we made on that hot day at Warren Dunes when we told the coaches that we wanted to go to state. And we did.
I speak for myself when I say that I had a bad race. I was last on the team, and I ran 17:57-a horrible time for me. The other guys ran spectacular races I would say, but we always seem to criticize ourselves more. But, the day wasn't over.
After every race in our tournament series, we have a time trial for the other guys on the varsity team to see if they will take anyones place in the top seven. Trevor ran great. As he approached the line, I prayed. However bad I felt about it, I still did. I prayed that Trevor would not be able to run faster than I had. He crossed the line in 17:53. Four seconds faster than me. Would he take my spot? I guess that would be up to the coaches. I had come this far only to have my fulfillment of running in state torn away.
Regionals!
We had regionals on 10/13/2007. We were very excited coming off our win at sectionals, and we were going for a second place finish behind Northridge. We ran hard, and we got what we wanted. Praise the Lord!! My race wasn't the greatest, but it's the team that counts. Semi-state on the 20th. Here we come.
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